Phew, I never thought I’d be posting a blog about my involvement in an event, let alone one that I led. Usually, I just write reflections for myself, little lessons I’ve picked up along the way. I’ve always been the write-reflections-in-private-and-keep-them-there kind of person. If I’m being honest, though, a lot of it is just me reassuring myself that I didn’t completely mess things up.
You see, I’m an expert in doubting myself. Gaslighting my own feelings? A daily hobby. But writing forces me to sit down, acknowledge my emotions, and tell myself, “Hey, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, annoyed, or completely out of your depth.” Because let’s be real, who doesn’t feel that way sometimes? Sometimes, that’s the hardest part: allowing yourself to just be.
When Dina and I first got the news about our roles for Actuarial Bonding, our initial reaction was, “HAAA?!!” (in capital letters, mind you). Suddenly, KPO meetings went from chill hangouts to “let’s-plan-an-entire-event” chaos. I never thought I’d be in this position so soon or leading an event of this scale. My first reaction wasn’t excitement or even pride; it was sheer panic.
Leading an event? Me? The girl who prefers working behind the scenes, who only speaks in meetings when absolutely necessary? Yep. That girl. Now suddenly in charge. The universe has jokes, I swear. While part of me had always wanted this, I wasn’t prepared for how shy I’d feel stepping into the spotlight.
Let’s start with the basics. Being the KP isn’t just about “leading”, it’s about decisions. Endless, exhausting, make-you-question-your-existence decisions. And let me tell you, as an extremely indecisive person, this was a nightmare.
Every time someone asked me, “So, nak macam mana?” my internal monologue was a screaming match between “I have no idea!” and “Help!” Amir’s favourite phrase whenever I’m asking him became, “Ikut kau lah, kau kan KP.” Like, I know I’m KP, I don’t need the reminder! What I needed was opinions, ideas, anything to help me feel less like I was flying blind.
But here’s the thing: I truly believe events should be a team effort. It’s not my event; it’s our event. So, I encouraged everyone to share their ideas, even if it meant sitting through debates that lasted longer than my patience.
Ah, paperwork. The bane of my existence. The first time I opened the template, I stared at it for a solid five minutes before closing it again. “We’ll come back to this,” I told myself. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t.) And so, the journey began. It was a whirlwind of paperwork, endless planning, and constant adjustments. With a team full of diverse ideas but limited funds, we had to get creative to ensure everything fit within our means without compromising the vision.
And then there was the multimedia team. Bless their souls for putting up with me. I’m not proud of how picky I was, from jersey designs to event posters, I wanted everything to be perfect. Every time I sent feedback, I could almost hear them sighing, “Oh no, here she goes again.” To the entire lovely team: I’m sorry, but also… thank you for layan-ing my nonsense.
Funding was another uphill battle. We started with a budget so small it made me laugh (and cry). The management approved our event, but their funding? Hmmm. I immediately went into panic mode, practically begging the sponsorship team to find money. Thankfully, Ghazi did an amazing job securing funds, and I could finally breathe a little easier. I don’t know how he did it, but I owe him my sanity.
Of course, just as we solved one problem, another popped up. Scheduling conflicts, last-minute changes, and paperwork updates became our daily bread. At one point, we had to completely redo the tentative because other programmes had booked our venue. Fun times.
Oh, and a huge shoutout to Faizah! Honestly, I don’t know if I could’ve handled it without her. As Amir would say, Faizah truly earned the title of “best exco for 2 years of Actuarial Bonding.” When we didn’t have enough dodgeball balls, she didn’t just shrug it off, she went the extra mile and borrowed them from her old school. No matter what task I threw her way, she was always ready and willing to help. Truly a gem in every sense!
Also here’s the harsh truth: most actuarial students don’t like sports. (I said what I said.) The whole point of Actuarial Bonding was to help students balance their lives and have some fun outside of academics. But despite our best efforts, many still chose their books and katil over the event. It was a tough pill to swallow, but hey, you can’t force people to have fun, right? #my2cents
Despite juggling other commitments, like the SNT carnival and looming tests, we managed to make it work. Then, we had our AGM. Surprise, surprise! I naik as the new president. Cue internal screaming. With great power comes great responsibility, and all that jazz.
But as excited as I was, reality quickly slapped me in the face. The new exco lineup? Amazing people, but many of them were already joining sports. So, pulling them into the Actuarial Bonding team wasn’t an option. The solution? I roped them into the aerobic team instead. (Yes, you can call me resourceful or desperate, your choice.)
A special shoutout goes to Maz and Fareesya for stepping up and helping me handle the aerobic team. Honestly, most of the credit goes to them for managing everything and making sure the team was in sync. Hopefully, as time goes on, I’ll learn to match their energy (or at least fake it convincingly). For now, though, I’m just grateful to have them around.
Finally, the big day arrived! I started the day feeling extra emo because I hadn’t received updates from the excos about the setup at the padang. My overthinking went into overdrive. Was everything ready? Were we doomed? (Okay, dramatic, but you get the vibe.) To top it off, I was on my period, which meant my emotions were working overtime. Poor Nadiea got the brunt of it when I accidentally snapped at her. Nadiea, if you’re reading this I’m so, so sorry muah!
But as the day unfolded, my worries melted away. Seeing everything come together, flags creatively designed, teams ready, the energy high, I couldn’t help but feel proud. The event went as planned (miraculously!), and I was genuinely so happy. Seeing everyone come together made all the stress worth it.
Then came the majlis penutup at TPSU. We had a rehearsal at 12:30 PM, but last-minute chaos struck: our lecturer canceled, which meant I had to present the prizes and give a speech. Cue internal panic. Standing there, as president, speaking to a room full of people? It hit me how big this responsibility truly was. Somehow, I survived without fainting (a small win, honestly).
The cherry on top? The best gemstone house was EMERALD! #takBias but totally predictable, we sent out the most teams and won most of the events. It was the perfect ending to a whirlwind of a day.
After the event, Dina, Amir, Faizah, and I, rewarded ourselves with Mixue and a good old gossip session. From unexpected drama to funny misunderstandings, it was the perfect way to end a long, tiring day.
Reflecting on the journey, I’m grateful for everything; the chaos, the challenges, and the incredible team that made it all happen. From the volunteers to the SASCOMM members, both old and new, everyone played a role in making this event memorable.
To my team: thank you for putting up with my indecisiveness, perfectionism, and occasional overthinking. Eventually, I know I’ll miss most of you, from the nonchalant ones who keep things calm to the super energetic ones who light up every room. To the participants: thank you for showing up (even if sports aren’t your thing). And to myself: good job. You survived.
With that, KP Actuarial Bonding signing off, emotionally exhausted but incredibly proud.
s o y a w r i t e s 